Valentine's Day

I know I said that I'd post one on differences between worldviews, but considering the holliday I decided to post this doozy. And I do mean doozy. It's very long so... read it in sections or whatever.

My first day in a Mexican kindergarten was an interesting experience. I arrived home in tears because a chubby, little girl had stuck her tongue out at me. My parents couldn’t help but wonder who’s crazy idea it was to put me in a Mexican school with such horrible and violent children in it.

My second day of kindergarten was quite different. This time I had noticed that one of the girls was very pleasant looking. By the end of my second day of school I had made my decision. When I got home I decided to announce the wonderful news to my parents. “Mom, Dad, I found the girl I want to marry.” I didn’t understand why my parents burst into laughter. This was serious stuff! I mean, I had special feelings for this girl!

I had, in a way, fallen in love with this pretty Hispanic girl. Of coarse, those type of relationships don’t last very long at that age and this was no exception. But as life continues, I have found that many relationships at all ages get corrupted. The feeling dies down and love disappears. Whoops! Was that supposed to happen? Where did that feeling go? Was it really love?

I looked up the word in a dictionary in order to get an official popular conception of what love is. Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary says that love is a “strong affection for another,” “affection and tenderness felt by lovers”, “affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests,” and “to feel affection or experience desire.” What word stands out in each of these definitions? “Affection” comes up in every one of those. So I looked up the word “affection” in the dictionary and it said that the synonym the word was “feeling”. So love is a feeling, is it?

Well… indeed it is. But there’s something funny about how that feeling works alone--it doesn’t. Once the fire goes out there’s no need to stick around for the blizzard. Don’t mention the good of the other person in the relationship because that’s not what relationships are about. Get what you want from it and then move on. We are bombarded with this message again and again on TV, in movies, on the radio, in books… It’s so easy to get caught up with this and I find myself corrupting my view of relationships again and again. What is real love?

Maybe you are wondering why I am approaching this topic now. Valentines Day was back in February. This is April. Time to smell the flowers and fantasize about the summer.

Let me tell you, this week is all about love. This week is the Christian Valentine when we celebrate the day love became a verb. Two thousand years ago, love became an action of sacrifice and selflessness. Maybe now you’re getting my gist. This weekend we will remember the day that the biggest heart of all was broken for our salvation. This week is all about God’s definition of love.

The world’s definition of love is totally understandable. It is something that is easy to acquire and hard to get around. It is as simple as “Good feelings toward something or someone.” We like this definition because according to it everyone is a loving person. With this definition you can easily see yourself as being very loving because all you need is the feeling.

However, according to God, love is one of the hardest things in the universe to understand yet it is one of the greatest things the universe has ever experienced. Speaking about when we try to talk about God’s love, A. W. Tozer says, “All Christians have tried, but none has ever don it very well. I can no more do justice to that awesome and wonder-filled theme than a child can grasp a star.” Love is one of the strangest mysteries to grasp yet it’s essential for hope, courage, kindness, sacrifice, grace, mercy, forgiveness, peace…and life.

God’s kind love is something this world will never understand. I love the way Joshua Harris puts it: “The world takes us to a silver screen on which flickering images of passion and romance play, and as we watch, the world says, ‘This is love.’ God takes us to the foot of a tree on which a naked and bloodied man hangs and says, ‘This is love.’” 1 John 4:10 says, “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Ephesians 2:4-5, “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved.”

Here we see the true definition of love: “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18). Love is a selfless and sacrificial verb. Sure there is affection--but when did love and affection become the same thing? “It considers nothing its own but gives all freely to the object of its affection” (A. W. Tozer).

I believe that God’s kind of love is the most impacting thing on this earth. True love is what separates Christianity from the rest of the world. A. W. Tozer beautifully puts it this way: “In Christian experience there is a highly satisfying love content that distinguishes it from all other religions and elevates it to heights far beyond even the purest and noblest philosophy. This love content is more than a thing; it is God Himself in the midst of His Church singing over His people.” Try as they may, no one can better the model that Jesus set for us and the love He has given us to share. 1 John 4:8 tracks love to its roots: “God is love.”

The reason I’ve been studying this topic in depth lately is because I fail miserably at it. Selfless love--the verb--is not even close to being a dominant characteristic in my life. This failure is a major thing that is holding me back from making a difference in the lives of the lost. Billy Graham states, “But like describing the ocean, [love's] total beauty cannot be understood until it is actually seen.” I pray that someday I’ll get it. I pray that someday I’ll learn to stop trying to share my love and start sharing God’s love.

There is so much to talk about and so many verses and theologians to quote on this topic! Maybe someday I’ll post again about love as I continue to learn more about it. But now it is time to go and celebrate and enjoy God’s Valentine’s weekend to its fullest! “What mystery!” exclaims David Needham. “A God so vast, so beyond, so incomprehensible--somehow wants me.”